Big Bears and A Manly Man
Alaska. Big. Strong. Wild. Untamed. It’s funny, because those same adjectives pretty much describe the man who lured me to our country’s northern outpost. December '08, I met "J" at a resort in the Turks & Caicos during a much needed and well deserved vacation break. He was handsome with piercing blue eyes. Tall and fit, in a manly-man rugby-player kind of way. I’m sure I wasn’t the only woman around who took notice, but I was there to relax and soak up some fun. Period. He was as at the resort working; teaching folks how to dive. That was his winter job. He said he spent his summers in Alaska, running the Kenai River Salmon fishing. He told me he was a hunter. (Didn't bother me. )Told me he loved to fish. (Didn't bother me.) Told me he lived a bare-minimum life with “no overhead”. (Didn’t bother me.) Sure, not the norm, but hey, sounded like it worked out pretty well for him, so what was it to me, right?
But, as fate would have it there was a substantial "spark" between us and well... what can I say? A good time was had by all. Of course, this was a vacation tryst, so imagine my surprise when several weeks later, who should contact me but my scuba-diving friend from the islands?? Somehow we clicked. He invited me to come back over to the islands. I went. We clicked. He flew to South Florida for a visit. We clicked. No, it was more than that. We had fun. We "connected." I was comfortable with him. Easy. Natural. He made my teeth sweat. So when he remarked that perhaps I should think about coming to Alaska in the Summer, I logged it away as a “possible” trip. Crazy as it all seemed, I thought, “why not?” One never knows where the heart will lead or how your life will unfold or with whom, right? I was starting to let down my walls and think maybe, just maybe, this could be something real.
Okay, looking back, maybe I was a bit naive or too kooky or downright stupid to think there could be some kind of future with a man who admittedly said “dating anyone would be tough with my lifestyle”, but you know how us women hear what we want to hear, and I suppose I'm no exception.
A few months later, at the end of June, there I was floating down the amazing Kenai River in Alaska with probably the most handsome Alaskan Manly-Man on the river serving as my fishing guide, vacation host and lover all rolled into one. Alaska. Hands down one of the most beautiful and breathtaking places I have ever visited! And let’s not even talk about how DELICIOUS freshly caught Salmon tastes - WOW!! (No wonder Bears love Salmon so much!)
Could I have asked for a better trip? Fresh mountain air. Awe inspiring scenery. Mouth watering fresh Salmon and Trout. And - bee-bopping around with a man who made me giddy and all reason fly out the window. A man who seemed to “get” me. WOW!! So now I’m thinking, one never knows what life has in store. I was pretty darn happy. Things just felt right. And good. Different, but good.
They say all good things must come to an end. My vacation was over, but I thought the next phase -with "J" - was perhaps just starting. Oh, how WRONG I WAS!!!
Not sure exactly when it happened. Perhaps it was the moment I drove off -out of sight out of mind. Maybe it was the following week once the fog of romance faded. Or perhaps it was after he received the care package loaded with goodies I sent indicating, that yes, I REALLY DO CARE ABOUT YOU. But let’s face it - do you ever REALLY know why someone does a 180 on you? Why one moment they want you and the next they don’t? Unless, of course, they tell you. By e-mail!!!
"I met someone at the end of August that I can't stop thinking about. I don't have the strong desire to see you that I had once before.I don't know if it is because of us or because of how I feel about her. Anyway, I know this sucks. I am just telling you my thoughts and have meant to get in touch with you.
Take care of yourself.
That was the last time I heard from "J." Done. Just like that. Yeah....ouch.
Until next time,