Firefighters & Strippers...Hmmm- I Think I See a Pattern

By: Julia Yarbough

As I was going through my notes and photos, and organizing my thoughts in preparation for this trip and doing some serious soul searching about what it is I am truly looking for as I hit the road (in life, for myself, in a partner, etc...) I came across a pattern. 

A pattern involving men. Or should I say, the TYPES of men I have been linked to in photographs. 

Exhibit A) Me and um... I guess you could call them “new friends.” 
I think this was back in 1995, and I was fairly new to South Florida, but LOVING the
sassy and free attitude of the people. I mean really - how many communities can you name that have adult entertainment for women, with talent that looks like this?? REALLY? 

Exhibit B.) Oh look - there they are again just a few months later. A group of exotic dancers. Okay, don’t laugh, but somehow I convinced my producer (I worked at WSVN -7 back then) that there was a ‘story’ here, as all of the guys had been chosen to appear on the pages of Playgirl Magazine. Yeah. News. Right!  

So, has it always just been chance that I have been thrust into these situations, or has there been some sub-conscious force at work which made me find these types of guys, like heat-seeking missiles find their targets? What do these guys have that made me want to “smile pretty for the camera” with them by my side? I mean, if I’m going to find my husband, then I have to ask AND ANSWER those tough questions, don’t you think? Help!!!

Exhibit C) And take a look at this:  more than ten years later, and something similar happened AGAIN! What’s the deal? This time, a very exotic personal trainer just happened to show up in my life - we cut up the dance floor at my Funky Disco-Birthday Bash. Such fun! 

 BUT WAIT - THERE’S MORE. Another twist to this seemingly twisted pattern.  

It’s not just the strippers. Oh no. It’s these guys, too.  Firefighters! 

Exhibit D) This had to be back in 1995 or so. The South Florida

Firefighter’s Calendar was just starting to hit it big and this year, I think I may have been one of the judges. Or maybe I was just taking advantage of the photo-op. Either way - nice, huh?  

They say history repeats itself. Maybe that’s true, as it was Winter of 2009 that I stumbled across these guys at a show. How could I pass up the opportunity to ‘strike a pose?’  Only this time around, I’m pretty sure these guys could be my sons, so that’s a bit on the creepy-cougar side, eh?  Either way - nice, huh?

I wonder: are these the kind of men a woman dates or simply the kind of men we fantasize about but never find? Are these guys the equivalent of the sexy gorgeous women found on the pages of Playboy that an average-joe is NEVER going to get? And, do they have something more to offer a woman than just excruciatingly rugged good looks and sex-appeal? When you like steak but the menu is generally filled with hamburger, do you go hungry or take the meal placed in front of you? What’s a single gal to do????

Until next time,



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  • 3/15/2010 10:07 AM Nikki wrote:
    Nothing wrong with fantasizing about the type of guys we would like to be with. Lucky for had the opprtunity to meet those types of guys. So next time when you meet/come across your fantasy guy. Ask him out on a date...who knows, he may be Mr. Right.
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  • 3/28/2010 12:08 PM Lawrence Proctor wrote:
    You know, I'm on the highway trying to seek a wife. No I'm not looking for a wife of the MALE PERSUASION, I'm looking for a wife of the FEMALE TYPE!

    How do you ladies think you can catch a husband and always be on the RUN?

    Just teasing. No, I'm not trying to get on your "A" list. I have all my teeth but I keep them in a cup!LOL

    I loved your show/interview on WEAR and all I can say is HAPPY HUNTING!
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  • 3/29/2010 1:57 PM julia wrote:
    Ooh, good point - although we're not "on the run" simply expanding our pool of potentials. Thanks for the support and glad you liked the show on WEAR! As a man, expand on what it is you are doing to find a wife. Do you actively ask women out? Do you find successful, professional, attractive and smart women intimidating, b/c we keep hearing that. Help us to understand the seeming disconnect between men and women, b/c seriously - I'm getting more baffled by the day!
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  • 4/1/2010 10:04 PM J.J. wrote:
    Not Lawrence, but since you wanted a guys perspective:

    Successful, professional, attractive, smart women are intimidating because there isn't a sense that they need a man. At least pretend to have trouble with the pickle jar sometimes. (Great flirting technique, btw)

    Other times it's that the woman is just being bossy and treating the man like a child. It could be a reflex that she is used to being empowered at work and telling people what to do, but when that spills over into a relationship the dynamic feels like a mother/child dynamic, not a romantic relationship. Telling a man to do something isn't as attractive as telling him what you want or asking for it. Then we can provide for you and feel needed and empowered, instead of feeling like a child. Just a few small words can make a big difference.
    I was out with a group and a girl said "I'm thirsty." Three guys leap up to get her a drink. If she had said "Hey you, buy me a drink."- How do you think that would have gone over with the guys?

    Hope this helps,
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  • 4/1/2010 11:16 PM William wrote:
    Ms. Yarbough:

    The old common line that I used to hear was: "Hey Mr. Firefighter, can you handle this blaze that I have for you right now? I would then think to myself: "Do I want my buddies to get in on this action also?" Thus my reply: " Well ma'am...Is it a one- alarm fire or a two-alarm fire?" You see, firemen, just like all men can be dogs. Seriously though, go ahead and enjoy your travels and have a good time. That's all that you are going to get out of this venture. I'm sorry but I'm "old-school". Ladies shouldn't chase men, especially beautiful women like you. I remember a local pastor here in Dallas preaching one Sunday who made the comment that it is the pretty women who have the most problems. Not that you have problems, however, I do not see why you would have to take this route to find a husband. Instead, your husband should find you. As soon as you stop this foolishness God will bring this man to you. But only when you are ready to recieve this man as your husband. Until then, you are just going to have a good time. And even when God sends this man, do yourself a favor. Don't give him any "yum-yum" until it is clear that he is in it for the long haul. Chances are that the guy that wrote the Dear Jane letter would have stayed around longer if you didn't give up the coochie. That's how my wife did me. Of course I pretended that I was holding out too but that's really not in a man's nature and if a man says it is then he is an absolute liar. Even as a man, God will not send a wife until that man is ready. For instance, take me for example: I had to buy my home, severe all emotional ties from "my baby momma"(horrible description, I know right?), start going back to church, and just start living right before God sent my lovely wife. I was 40 years old before all of this happened. Now I could've gotten a wife before because I'm pretty damn sexy if I have to say so myself, but it would not have been the right wife. God will allow you to make a wrong choice but you will be stuck with your bad decision. There is a book that Steve Harvey wrote. I'm sure that you have heard of it. Steve is silly but he tells it like it really is. Your husband is out there right now. He probably has prayed for a virtuous wife. He probably can't even remember when he last prayed about it though but if you are wise you will just chill and let this man find you. Sorry for being so wordy. God Bless!

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  • 5/20/2010 12:40 PM Stacey wrote:
    I agree with William.
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